(This post is a copy of my original post on Yahoo! 360)
When you’re singing a song, painting a scenery, playing a game or are just plain madly in love with someone; you don’t care whether you’re going right or wrong until you’re done unless you pause and ponder midway. It’s only after your brain is done releasing creative juices that your senses start evaluating the product.
I’ve found this pattern to be true on numerous occasions. Your effort and your evaluation of your own effort are never parallel. (Is it the perfectionist in me speaking?). At least, I find this to be true for myself. However, the situation is the reverse when I am in the process of putting in my effort. In that slot of time, everything I am doing is hundred percentile. When I am painting a picture or singing a song; for me, it’s the best way it could be done! Perhaps this is what they call- “Living in the moment.” …. or is it? But as soon as I pause; comparisons, criticisms, analyses and shadows of different kinds step in.
That’s the reason I don’t want to take pauses. Well, I don’t want to but somehow, I end up with lots of them. Pausing and pondering, thinking whether I am doing it right or not for which I need to change my perspective; perhaps, exchange it with some other person ’cause from my own perspective, no matter what I do- I am always right. Well, maybe not always… but the perspective is mine, isn’t it? So yea…
For me, a perfect state to achieve would be when I can be satisfied with my work even after I have finished creating it. That still remains a target to be achieved and somehow, I feel good about not attaining it so early. Perfectionism is good but I am not sure about perfection itself.
Let’s not be so perfect. Let’s make mistakes, not purposely of course but, let’s be happy that there is still scope to improve. This is like a self-note because I too, just want to be perfect. (Who doesn’t?)
When I picture or imagine something in mind before putting it down on paper, I feel a compulsion to bring the picture to reality as if it is a responsibility of sorts. Not being able to do that isn’t a happy feeling but I could live with that unhappy feeling only if I knew whether to be satisfied that I at least tried or be unsatisfied that it isn’t perfect. Maybe this dilemma is a good thing- an artistic force or power of sorts… or maybe I have to get over this dilemma to get to the *next level*. Darn! Here comes another dilemma!
Ok… enough of the babble!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!