Tiffs and their aftermath!

When in college, home, school or office; we all have tiffs and tussles with certain dark-hearted monsters from time to time. There is the usual course of acquaintance to friendship to the sudden realization that you cannot co-exist with that person anymore. There are two types of people, One- who would slowly create distance and politely make it apparent that they no longer wish to be seen with you and two- who are the melodramatic type. They need a face-off, a confrontation and a solid break-up to seal or rather un-seal the deal.

I am here to address the problems faced by the later type and sometimes the former. Ending all contact with a friend is not an easy thing to do, it takes a lot of deleting from the desktop and deleting from the recycle bin too. The worst thing is for those who are caught in the middle of this vortex- the common friends. Of course they cannot choose loyalties. They have to choose their words carefully, avoid discussions and avoid being called diplomatic. In short, they end up avoiding a lot of things. Imagine a friend you just introduced to your would-be enemy. Now when your would-be enemy turns into your enemy, the newly introduced friend automatically turns into his enemy too. They share cold stares, rude gestures without even knowing each other. Sometimes it is hilarious.

Also, after a period of time, you start having difficulty remembering the reason of hating them, that is when you start saying absolutely ridiculous things just to keep the fire burning. Things like- “look at her t-shirt! What does she think of herself!?” or “How can she talk like that? She isn’t even pretty!”. Well you know, immature things. And why do you have to keep hating them? Because you know they hate you and if you don’t hate them back, you’re either Gandhi or there is something wrong with your self-respect.

There are certain people who can erase unwanted memory at the drop of a hat. They make things difficult. If you are one of those who keep the rage burning within you, with a storm of hatred building in your heart and you come across someone who gets you burning with rage at one moment and feigns ignorance the other, you are in for a ride. Living in the company of such a person desensitizes you to the point when you fight one moment and next moment you are asking the person to pass the salt on the dinner table. Such relationships also go by the popular name “marriage”.

Jokes apart, the thrill of a fight is sometimes addictive, the way your nostrils flare when you pass the enemy on the street, the way you smile when you hear that they are not doing too well on personal front. The way you tend to look distant, when your eyes meet each other; it’s a thing of curiosity for the anthropologists- to study the peculiar behaviour patterns. Your fingers point away while your trunk faces toward somewhere else, your eyes forget to look, instead they just steal glances. The whole mechanism of the change in body language is fascinating.

The mind too, starts doing overtime. It thinks up a violent thought and imagines the counter-thought by the enemy too. All those days of friendship are used to create a clone of the enemy mind and his thoughts are plotted in a graph against your own thoughts. It creates a mental battle which you fight in your free time which in turn, helps you to keep the fire of hatred burning….!

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