Above is the trailer of a forthcoming TV serial on Sony Entertainment Television- “Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage?” It’s the age old question that has staunch supporters on either sides. Indiblogger has joined the discussion and has started a contest here.
I have a theory about marriages. Love marriages are works of passion where two minds resolve to intertwine and imagine a world of their own. These people have set requirements from a marriage. They are the exacting kind who would feel cheated if the promises of love, even the most insignificant ones, are found to be broken. Love marriages fail due to these great expectations. Moreover, those who are quick to love, are equally quick to hate as “love” and “hate” are two flip sides of the same coin. Love marriages work when the love is true. Love that is patient, that is understanding, love that doesn’t get angry on human errors; and sometimes ever adores the fallacies associated with the erring person. Love likes to listen, love does not follow the rules of the society, it makes its own rules. Just because society thinks you should doubt your wife because she came late from work, you get angry and doubt her- that’s not love. That’s just passion flame which is about to fade.
When two people are actually in love and are worthy of the love they give each other, that’s when the marriage completes itself. So, the love marriages that fail are not actually love marriages, they are impatient, hasty decisions to be regretted. For me, the story of a real love marriage goes like this (Images- Courtesy: Google)-
1. They meet.
2. They talk
3. They hit it off- Are officially a couple
4. Till now was the easy part. Now comes- The End of Honeymoon Period. First disagreement, first fight, first time they stop trying to impress each other.
5. This cycle repeats itself until you the real person in your partner. Now when you see the real person, you decide whether you really want to be with him/ her. Whether you’d love her no matter what? They say it’s a matter of heart, based on impulse but your mind does all the calculations, applies all the algorithms and arrives at the conclusion that no matter what, this person is indispensable; and should not be let go. You set aside your ego, and love’s first seed is sown.
6. Now the love story begins. It’s not about Romeo and Juliet….
….it’s the story of Grandpa and Granny who have spend their lives with each other.
it’s the story of Grandpa and Granny who have spend their lives with each other.
Coming to Arranged marriages, the ones which fail are again due to great expectations. You do not love the person, you love the idea behind the relation. You expect from your husband or wife what society asks you expect. That’s not true love, that’s just living for the sake of living and loving for the sake of loving.
An arranged marriage follows the same path as the love one, it’s just that all of it happens after the marriage. You can surely have more freedom in the option of love marriage but there are no short-cuts or options to generate love. Love creates itself. Moreover when you know that you have no choice but to love, as it is in arranged marriage, the whole procedure becomes easier.
All in all, arranged marriages are easy on the mind but heavy on the heart while love marriages are easy on the heart but heavy on the mind. I would pick love marriages any day because, even if I am punished, I would know that I am being punished for MY SINS!