Why is no one drinking tea or shikanji when they are typing? And if why do you spit coffee on your keyboard every time you read something funny? Do I imagine you as someone holding coffee in his mouth scrolling the webpages?
Cool thing 2- I love cats.
It is just something cool to say. Somehow cats, books, coffee are cool terms. You may own zero cats, drink coffee without loving it or not drink it at all, you may have read only Chetan Bhagat but when you say those words repeatedly, you somehow become cooler than others. Why can’t you just like to read books without loving cats? Jeez!
Cool thing 3- She friendzoned me.
Firstly, there is no such thing. Secondly, you always have the option of leaving.
Cool thing 4- I will watch it on Netflix.
No you won’t. Netflix isn’t even available in India. You probably learnt it like a cool word to say by watching too many American sitcoms. We might have cragslist but no one uses it here.
Cool thing 5- tl;dr (too long, didn’t read)
Dude, it was just four lines. If it was tl for you, chances are that you’re illiterate.