How to find a bride in India? Simple steps.

How to find a bride in India?

To find a bride in India, one needs to give the impression that he is not interested in marriage, love or any suchlike distractions. One has to pretend to have tangible, attainable life goals. Whenever someone asks what you are doing with your life, you have to reply that you’re preparing for civil services to at least qualify as a serious minded person.

Once everyone is convinced that you’re a serious-minded person, this is what you need to do- assess your skills and talents. Then start pursuing higher studies in something which is completely opposite to your personal inclinations. You might ask what is the reason behind such diabolical behaviour. The answer to which is SHUT UP! You’re not supposed to ask questions.

Moving on, once you’re done with your education and are done eyeing all the pretty girls in your college, you develop a werewolf-like personality. Due to all the repression, your face develops scary features like dark circles, baldness etc. This is perfectly normal, you’re on your way to getting married.

Now once you’ve acquired a graduate degree, look at your degree and enlist all the jobs suited for you. Now, take that list to the toilet and flush it. Start preparing for civil services, bank exams or other such institutions which offer jobs that require you to sit in a chair and analyze data for the government. Again, do not ask questions. The keyword here is ‘government job’. Ok, two words. Keywords.

Anyway, now once you’re ‘settled’, go to the marketplace with a cloth bag and ask for a bride. I am not kidding. Pick up that jhola and take your relatives for bride shopping. Whenever you are bargaining for a bride, assess all features like height, weight, colour (especially colour because dark ones are bad for some reason) etc. Once you have selected a bride suitable to your ‘market value’, just pick her up and put her in your bag. And here comes the best part, her relatives will pay YOU to take her away from them. Isn’t it great?

All the best out there!

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