He Should Earn More Than Her

I have heard this from many of my female friends that they want to marry someone who at least earns more than her. This demand is pretty popular in matrimonial ads. One reason that a friend gave me was that she didn’t have a problem with a low-earning man but she knew it would hurt the man’s ego if she earned more than him. And to marital discord, she wanted a well-placed groom.

We discuss the Indian obsession with fair  brides but this side of the spectrum gets comparatively less attention. What about the commodification of men? It is again a byproduct of patriarchy.

If you want a man who earns more than you, and you get one. And then he loses his job or you get a promotion, is your stupid marriage doomed now? How intelligent is it to base companionship on money?

Also, to give in to the male-ego, to pander to it – how feminist is that? Isn’t that taking your own cause a few steps back? A marriage that is built on those grounds, a marriage that is fundamentally uneven – how do you expect it to be a good relationship? If you have picked a man because you feel he is superior to you in some respect, how do you tell him that you want to be treated as an equal?

I am seeing matrimonial ads where girls have specified the exact income bracket from which they would be choosing their partners. Choosing someone from your social status maybe understandable, choosing someone from your own economic status is again a matter of comfort but how do you justify choosing someone because they are above your economic bracket? You may tell yourself that you’re not a gold-digger and this is just to pander to the groom’s ego but how is that better?

-End of Rant-

 

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One comment

  1. Our society has been practicing this since few generations nw.. i think tat is absurd. V don hv to think outside the box… v shud think ther is no need for a box in the first place. Urs is a genuine rant ABD. Hope it reaches the ignorant🖒

    Liked by 1 person

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